2014년 10월 26일 일요일

First Draft,

Maybe the viewer think that this thesis is quite crazy or wrong. But I want to persuade you guys with my reasons. Almost people think that criminals are all psychos so there are no reasons that they do the crime. But there are various reasons. The most effective reason is the financial problem. Also the another reason is that the environment surrounding them considers them psychos making them hostile for the world. They were also people who are same with us and there is way to back them be the normal people. That way is understanding them and admitting that they are same with us. Don't be hostile for them, Now, find the reasons and ways in a calm and orderly way.

 There would be no one who does not know the criminals which are one of the issued part of the world. Many famous crimes become the movie or drama. And also in the real world, the crime's rates are increasing, many people would concern about the criminals. Because of this state of a society, many articles and experts indicate their opinions. As one of the experts, I read the Lee young-hyeok(Korea police university's professor)'s article and quote his mention. He said that the criminals do the crime because of the financial problem. It's different with the normal people's bias. And also the psychologytoday(a bi-monthly magazine published in the United States) indicates that the susceptibility is caused because of the prejudice. And the criminal's mind is also filled with the guilty and the frightened.

 Many people think i'm wrong with this thesis. But I'm right and I insist this thesis with the logical reasons. Many people would ignore my thesis because they don't want to be regarded as the same people with the criminals.Yes, it could be wrong as they say that the criminals are the psychos. Many victims feel the scared and frightened when they meet the criminals. The reason why we get the scared and the frightened is because of the prejudice. And this prejudice makes people be in the confirmation bias. However, we could be out in this confirmation bias by admitting that they are same with us and this process can help the criminals do not do the crime.

 It's the controversial thesis. Crime is already issued in the real world, and there are many criminal dramas such as the criminal mind and the Mentalist. It could be hard to persuade the people that the criminals are same with us. But I think I could do with my logical reasons. First of all, victims, namely the normal people, feel the scared and the frightened when they meet the criminals. This phenomenon is caused because of the confirmation bias. Maybe It's impossible to avoid making the confirmation bias. But with this progress we can't eradicate the crimes. Contrary to our beliefs, They are same with us. We just want to deny the truth, which the potential that we could be the criminals. Second, Unlike our thought, There are many reasons they do the crime. One of the reasons is the financial problem according to the Lee hyung-yuk(Korea police university president). They do the crime to live their life. Final reason reason is the discrimination for them. Their youth memory is filled with the child abuse and the bullying. The korea serial killer '유영철' is the example of this reason(We could see in the next research). He said that the teacher of his youth abused him with the curses that do not come to the school. But no one helped them and that makes them hostile for the world. However, if we helped them, this bad situation would not appear. This is all because of the indifference. As I say above, our fault is bigger than their personality. Also the graph in my research5 shows that the overtreatment doesn't help the criminals stop the crimes. Like this, we couldn't say this is all because of them.It's all because of the absence of the social institution and the indifference of the society. We could help them. And the first step for helping them is admitting that they are same with us. After we admit, we could see them in an another sight. We all want the peaceful world. Of course, we couldn't make the peaceful world only by preventing the criminals. According to the psychologytoday.com, criminals also feel the guilty, So helping them for saving ourselves. My argument is already issued in the real world. And nowadays the actual way to prevent the crime is issued, too. This thesis can attract the audience and can help the real world.

 Actually my argument is quite against the public opinion. Many citizen think the criminals are stationary changed people. Namely, the psychos who cannot be purified. Some of public opinions can be right. Some of the criminals cannot be purified. I agree. But I insist that some of their opinions are excessive. As I say many times, It's the hasty generalization. Maybe It's hard to purify the criminals who do the violent crimes. But not all of the criminals are the people who do the violent crimes, there are many other criminals. Their reason is different. Also it's hard to break the prejudice. My mention that the admitting that the criminals are same with us is not same with the public opinions. It doesn't mean understand them recklessly. First understand their background, their primary background is full of many bad things. And the criminals absolutely do not want these background, And these bad backgrounds affect the criminals very much. We have to consider these things. We couldn't justify the criminals just because of their bad situation. But we can help them, not justify them.
Of course, these arguments are unbelievable, until now. I agree. But also believable reasons exist. I use the korea police university's mention because these criminals apply for the korea, too. There are many crimes and the criminals. And they are spread all over the world, too. So I apply the world view, So I use the psychologytoday which is the famous site, too. They are all verified, and also have public confidence.



 I was very cautious to select my argument. But to know the criminal mind was my dream in the past, and also dream the peaceful world that do not have any crimes. So I select the argument 'We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us'. I insist this argument because of the confirmation bias, prejudice and the social indifference. We just justify them as the psychos.However It's our thought, we justify them as the psychos at will. And there is the ridiculous prejudice that the criminals do the crime to enjoy the crime itself. But as we see above, the most major reason is the financial problem according to the Lee hyung-yuk professor. And as we could see in the korea serial killer '유영철' the social indifference makes them more hostile for the world. So with these logical reasons, we have to admit that they are same with us. It doesn't mean that we have to admit recklessly. We can understand their background information and help them. We can give a big help for them and this first step would make us understand the criminals naturally. This admitting helps the criminals to stop the crime and the world will be peaceful and we could protect ourselves from the criminals and the crimes.

2014년 10월 25일 토요일

Rewritten Conclusion.

Rewritten Conclusion

 I was very cautious to select my argument. But to know the criminal mind was my dream in the past, and also dream the peaceful world that do not have any crimes. So I select the argument  'We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us'. I insist this argument because of the confirmation bias, prejudice and the social indifference. We just justify them as the psychos.However It's our thought, we justify them as the psychos at will. And there is the ridiculous prejudice that the criminals do the crime to enjoy the crime itself. But as we see above, the most major reason is the financial problem according to the Lee hyung-yuk professor. And as we could see in the korea serial killer '유영철' the social indifference makes them more hostile for the world. So with these logical reasons, we have to admit that they are same with us. It doesn't mean that we have to admit recklessly. We can understand their background information and help them. We can give a big help for them and this first step would make us understand the criminals naturally. This admitting helps the criminals to stop the crime and the world will be peaceful and we could protect ourselves from the criminals and the crimes.

The Conclusion.

Conclusion

 It's was hard to decide my argument. But it was my dream in the past, and I decide my argument 'We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us'. I insist this argument because of the confirmation bias, prejudice and the social indifference. We just justify them as the psychos. It's our thought, we justify them the psychos at will. And there is the prejudice that the criminals do the crime to enjoy the crime itself. But as we see above, the most major reason is the financial problem according to the Lee hyung-yuk professor. And as we can see in the korea criminal '유영철' the social indifference make them more hostile for the world. So with these logical reasons, we have to admit that they are same with us. It doesn't mean that we have to admit recklessly. We can understand their background information and help them. We can give a big help for them and this first step would make us understand the criminals naturally. This admitting help the criminals stop the crime and the world would go peaceful and we can protect ourselves from the criminals and the crimes.


Research5

http://gooutandplay.tistory.com/84
Crime rates from the chicago.

We could see the crime rates are increasing now in the actual world.
So, It's issued in the real world.
Crime rates gradually increases.
Society tries to find the way.

http://blog.naver.com/mhdiscussion/140209597182
Connection between the todesstrafe and the crime rates.
Todesstrafe(the law that kill the killer) doesn't make the criminals kind. Oppressive way must not be needed.
Overtreatment=Todesstrafe couldn't help the criminals. We have to think another way help the criminals, not only the punishment.

Refutation and concession of my first draft.

1. What is my thesis?We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us.
2. What is the opposite position?
Criminals can't be same with us, they are psychos.

3. What arguments can I anticipate?
a) Criminals have their own reasons.

b) Breaking the prejudice is important.
4. How will I counter those arguments?
a) According to the Lee yung-hyeok, their major reason is the financial problem.
b) Without the prejudice, we could approach the crime problem humanly.

My Refutation and Concession
 Actually my argument is quite against the public opinion. Many citizen think the criminals are stationary changed people. Namely, the psychos who cannot be purified. Some of public opinions can be right. Some of the criminals cannot be purified. I agree. But I insist that some of their opinions are excessive. As I say many times, It's the hasty generalization. Maybe It's hard to purify the criminals who do the violent crimes. But not all of the criminals are the people who do the violent crimes, there are many other criminals. Their reason is different. Also it's hard to break the prejudice. My mention that the admitting that the criminals are same with us is not same with the public opinions. It doesn't mean understand them recklessly. First understand their background, their primary background is full of many bad things. And the criminals absolutely do not want these background, And these bad backgrounds affect the criminals very much. We have to consider these things. We couldn't justify the criminals just because of their bad situation. But we can help them, not justify them.
Of course, these arguments are unbelievable, until now. I agree. But also believable reasons exist. I use the korea police university's mention because these criminals apply for the korea, too. There are many crimes and the criminals. And they are spread all over the world, too. So I apply the world view, So I use the psychologytoday which is the famous site, too. They are all verified, and also have public confidence.

Research4

The reason of the crime.: Surrounding the criminals.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2E_SKDvjaA8

Notes: The reason korea psycho killer '유영철' do the crime is the indifference of the elementary school teacher. The teacher said 'why do you go school? you didn't send the money' with the curses. Because of these curses and the indifference '유영철' becomes hostile for the world. '유영철' said if the elementary school teacher encouraged him to cheer up and the people surrounding him encouraged him to cheer up, he wouldn't become this terrible killer. And the people surrounding him are us.

2014년 10월 24일 금요일

The confirmation.

1. What is my thesis?
we can protect ourselves from criminals by admitting that they are same with us. 

 2. What types of source am I using to defend my thesis? 
I use the famous sites' article and expert's mention. Also the public sites' dictionary is used.

3. Are my arguments mostly based on evidence, logic or emotion?
My arguments are based on the logic. I have both evidence and emotion. So I can connect these evidences and emotions logically. 

My Confirmation

 It's the controversial thesis. Crime is already issued in the real world, and there are many criminal dramas such as the criminal mind and the Mentalist. It could be hard to persuade the people that the criminals are same with us. But I think I could do with my logical reasons. First of all, victims, namely the normal people, feel the scared and the frightened when they meet the criminals. This phenomenon is caused because of the confirmation bias. Maybe It's impossible to avoid making the confirmation bias. But with this progress we can't eradicate the crimes. Contrary to our beliefs, They are same with us. We just want to deny the truth, which the potential that we could be the criminals. Second, Unlike our thought, There are many reasons they do the crime. One of the reasons is the financial problem according to the Lee hyung-yuk(Korea police university president). They do the crime to live their life. Final reason reason is the discrimination for them. Their youth memory is filled with the child abuse and the bullying. The korea serial killer '유영철' is the example of this reason(We could see in the next research). He said that the teacher of his youth abused him with the curses that do not come to the school. But no one helped them and that makes them hostile for the world. However, if we helped them, this bad situation would not appear. This is all because of the indifference. As I say above, our fault is bigger than their personality. Like this, we couldn't say this is all because of them. We could help them. And the first step for helping them is admitting that they are same with us. After we admit, we could see them in an another sight. We all want the peaceful world. Of course, we couldn't make the peaceful world only by preventing the criminals. According to the psychologytoday.com, criminals also feel the guilty, So helping them for saving ourselves. 

My argument is already issued in the real world. And nowadays the actual way to prevent the crime is issued, too. This thesis can attract the audience and can help the real world.

Research3

For What?: To know the behavior of the criminals.
                

What I can learn: Many criminals re-offend the crime.
                         Their behavior is same with us.
                         Many reasons exist to do the crime.
                         We can help them by understanding their background.
                         Their behavior is also the making a frantic last-ditch effort.
                     


Overtreatment does not help them to stop the crimes.
 It incites the serial criminals do the more serial crimes.
Overtreatment makes the criminals refused why they are wrong.

What I can connect with the class: In the debate book, there is criminal article.
                                                  In the human mind, there is the confirmation bias.

The article went on to say that, according to the Ministry of Justice, half a million crimes are committed each year by serial offenders who have left prison or are starting community service. 500,000 crimes solely by reoffending criminals is a vast amount but this is the reality of our world today. It amazes me how, throughout the world, we all have a unique idea of how we are meant to behave and interact. We have different ideas, but abide by the basic laws and regulations that have been adopted to provide stability and safety in society

2014년 10월 22일 수요일

The Narration.

My persuasive argument thesis is:
We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us.
1. What do people already know about my topic?
 Criminals: There would be no one who does not know the criminals. Criminals are one of the issued part of the world. Many famous crimes become the movie or drama. And also In the real world, the crime's rates are increasing, many people would concern about the criminals.

 Mind of the criminals: Maybe no one know their mind, because no one tries to know their mind and consider as the psychos. 

2. What research has already been done about my topic?
I found the meaning of the scared and frightened to know the feelings of the victims. And also find the Lee young-hyeok(경찰 university president)'s saying that the prime reason of criminal is the financial problem. I already read the /www.psychologytoday.com/blog/inside-the-criminal-mind/201410/crime-may-not-be-product-criminal-mind to know the criminal mind and also read the




3. What are the implications of my argument (What if I’m right? What if I’m right and people ignore me?)
Many people think i'm wrong with this thesis. But I'm right and I insist this thesis with the logical reasons. Many people would ignore my thesis because they don't want to be regarded as the same people with the criminals.Yes, it could be wrong as they say that the criminals are the psychos. Many victims feel the scared and frightened when they meet the criminals. The reason why we get the scared and the frightened is because of the prejudice. And this prejudice makes people be in the confirmation bias. However, we could be out in this confirmation bias by admitting that they are same with us and this process can help the criminals do not do the crime. 

Narration.
 There would be no one who does not know the criminals which are one of the issued part of the world. Many famous crimes become the movie or drama. And also in the real world, the crime's rates are increasing, many people would concern about the criminals. Because of this state of a society, many articles and experts indicate their opinions. As one of the experts, I read the Lee young-hyeok(Korea police university's professor)'s article and quote his mention. He said that the criminals do the crime because of the financial problem. It's different with the normal people's bias. And also the psychologytoday(a bi-monthly magazine published in the United States) indicates that the susceptibility is caused because of the prejudice. And the criminal's mind is also filled with the guilty and the frightened.

2014년 10월 19일 일요일

First draft: The Introduction

We could protect ourselves from criminals by admitting that they are same with us.

Maybe the viewer think that this thesis is quite crazy or wrong. But I want to persuade you guys with my reasons. Almost people think that criminals are all psychos so there are no reasons that they do the crime. But there are various reasons. The most effective reason is the financial problem. Also the another reason is that the environment surrounding them considers them psychos making them hostile for the world. They were also people who are same with us and there is way to back them be the normal people. That way is understanding them and admitting that they are same with us. Don't be hostile for them, Now, find the reasons and ways in a calm and orderly way.