Peer review1

Evaluation for 20303 -20303 Kim Gaeun http://20303kimgaeun.blogspot.kr/

Grade
According to the rubric above, what grade would you give this essay? Why?
This essay deserves a three. She could receive more scores if her topic was not that usual like cyber bullying.

How does this essay need to improve to get a better grade?
There should more exact researches about real-name and ID. And have to sure about the topic. Also there aren't exact explains about the common belief.

Thesis
What is the thesis?
The internet real-name system is an inappropriate tool to solve current social problems on cyber space.

Is the thesis clear and debatable?
Yes and yes.

If you (The reviewer) wrote this essay, how would you have written the thesis?
The internet real-name system should not be used on cyber space.

Any other thoughts?
It is based on the real social problems, so if she could find any other ways to solve the problem, that will be quite amazing.  .

Classical Argument
Can you easily identify the 5 parts of the classical argument? If no, what parts are missing?
I don't see the articulation. She didn't articulate what she want to appear in this essay.

Does the introduction catch your attention? Does it comfortably lead to the thesis?
The introduction catches my mind. Because she said about the real-name on the internet and examples.

Does the narration give all the necessary background information to understand the topic?
Yes, but actual reason was not in there. We have to guess..

Does the confirmation adequately support the thesis?
Yes, she surely confirms and shows what happen will be occured.

Does the refutation and concession address a realistic counterpoint? Does it adequately dispute the counterpoint, or respond in a reasonable manner?
I think the counterpoint was good. She says adequately. Many explanations about the real-name. It means a resaonable
.
Does the conclusion summarize the article and address the larger significance of the thesis?
Yes. I think the final point was that real-name is not a good solution. She wanted to show us that we have to develop our own solution.

What suggestions do you have for improving the classical argument structure?
I think more and more researches should be in there. Also have articulate what she wants to say.
Persuasion
When you started reading the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I disagreed\\

When you finished the essay, did you agree or disagree with the thesis?
I still disagree

If your mind changed, why? What parts of the essay were persuasive?
I did not change my mind.

How could the author enhance the persuasive parts of their essay?
She should have to show what is her solution.She said real-name should not been shown. But there aren't any alternatives.

Research
Is the author using research effectively?
Yes

Is the research from appropriate sources?
Yes, Many of them are existed and from academic.

Are the sources obvious?
Yes, the sources are obvious.

Are the pieces of evidence relevant to the thesis or essay?
Yes

Are there any parts of the essay that need evidence to support the claims?
I think that if there is a real example. That could attract many people.