Second Draft.

 Maybe the viewer think that my thesis'We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us' is quite crazy or wrong. But I want to persuade you with my reasons. Almost people think that criminals think and act differently than other people, even from a very young age according to the 'http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/why_do_people_commit_crime.htm'
This means that people think there is no reason about crimes. However, there are various reasons that they do the crimes. The most effective reason is the financial problem according to the Lee Yung-hyeok(The korea Police university's professor). Also the another reason is that the environment surrounding them considers them different.And that makes them hostile for the world. They were also people who are same with us and there is way to back them be the normal people. That way is understanding them and admitting that they are same with us I think. Don't be hostile for them, Now, find the reasons and ways in a calm and orderly way.

 There would be no one who does not know the criminals which are one of the issued part of the world because the criminals rates are increasing now according to the 'http://asiancorrespondent.com/85740/skorean-violent-crime-rate-exceeds-united-states/'. Many famous crimes become the movie or drama such as the criminal minds, and the Mentalist.This means that the society concerned about the criminals. Because of this state of a society, many articles and experts indicate their opinions. As one of the experts, I read the Lee young-hyeok(Korea police university's professor)'s article and quote his mention. He said that the criminals do the crime because of the financial problem. It's different with many prejudices like 'http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/why_do_people_commit_crime.htm'. And also the psychologytoday(a bi-monthly magazine published in the United States) indicates that the susceptibility is caused because of the prejudice. And the criminal's mind is also filled with the guilty and the frightened.

 Many people think i'm wrong with my thesis'We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us'. It could be wrong as they say that the criminals are different with us as we see in the 'historylearningsite'. However, I insist this thesis with logical reasons. Many victims feel the guilt and the shame when they do the criminals according to the http://www.thejuryexpert.com/2012/11/only-the-guilty-would-confess-to-crimes%E2%80%A8-understanding-the-mystery-of-false-confessions/'. The reason why we get the scared and the frightened is because of the prejudice as we above. And this prejudice makes people be in the confirmation bias. However, we could be out in this confirmation bias by admitting that they are same with us and this process can help understand the criminals.

 It's the controversial thesis. Crime is already issued in the real world like this theme becomes dramas and movies. It could be hard to persuade the people that the criminals are same with us. But I think I could do with my logical reasons. First of all, victims feel the guilt and the shame when they do the crimes. However people do not think that's real.This phenomenon is caused because of the confirmation bias. Maybe It's impossible to avoid making the confirmation bias. But with this progress we can't eradicate the crimes. Contrary to our beliefs, They are same with us. We just want to deny the truth, which the potential that we could be the criminals. Second, Unlike our thought, There are many reasons they do the crime. One of the reasons is the financial problem according to the Lee hyung-yuk(Korea police university president). They do the crime to live their life. Final reason is the discrimination for them. Their youth memory is filled with the child abuse and the bullying as we can see in the korea serial killer'유영철' 's case. 유영철 said that the teacher of his youth abused him with the curses that do not come to the school. But no one helped him and that makes him hostile for the world. However, if we helped him, this bad situation might not appear. This is all because of the indifference. As I say above, our fault is bigger than their personality. Also the graph in my research5 shows that the overtreatment doesn't help the criminals stop the crimes. Like this, we couldn't say this is all because of the criminals.It's all because of the absence of the social institution and the indifference of the society. We could help them. And the first step for helping them is admitting that they are same with us. After we admit, we could see them in an another sight. We all want the peaceful world. Of course, we couldn't make the peaceful world only by preventing the criminals. According to the psychologytoday.com and 'historylearningsite', criminals also feel the guilty, So we have to understand them for saving ourselves. My argument is already issued in the real world. And nowadays the actual way to prevent the crime is issued, too. This thesis can attract the audience and can help the real world.

 Actually my argument is quite against the public opinion. Many citizens think the criminals are stationary people as we see in the http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/why_do_people_commit_crime.htm. Namely, they couldn't be purified. Some of opinions can be right. Some of the criminals cannot be purified. I agree. But I insist that some of their opinions are excessive. As I say many times, It's the hasty generalization. Maybe It's hard to purify the criminals who do the crimes. But not all of the criminals are the people who do the violent crimes, there are many other crimes. Their reason is different. Also it's hard to break the prejudice. My opinion that admitting that the criminals are same with us is not same with the public opinions. However, It doesn't mean understand them recklessly. First understand their background, their primary background is full of many bad things as we see in the 유영철 case. And the criminals absolutely do not want these background, And these bad backgrounds affect the criminals very much. We have to consider these things. We couldn't justify the criminals just because of their bad situation. But we can help them, not justify them.

Of course, these arguments are unbelievable, until now. I agree. But also believable reasons exist. I use the korea police university's mention because these criminals apply for the korea. There are many crimes and the criminals. And they are spread all over the world, too. So I apply also the korea view like http://asiancorrespondent.com/85740/skorean-violent-crime-rate-exceeds-united-states/. The 6 researches are all verified.

 I was very cautious to select my argument. But to know the criminal mind was my dream in the past, and also dream the peaceful world. So I select the thesis 'We can protect ourselves from the criminals by admitting that they are same with us'. I insist this argument because of the confirmation bias, prejudice and the social indifference. We just justify them that they are different with us as wee see in the 'historylearningsite'.However It's wrong thought, we just think that they are different with us at will. And also as we see above, the most major reason is the financial problem according to the Lee hyung-yuk professor. And as we could see in the korea serial killer '유영철' the social indifference makes the criminals more hostile for the world. So with these logical reasons, we have to admit that they are same with us. It doesn't mean that we have to admit recklessly. We can understand their background information and help them. We can give a big help for them and this first step would make us understand the criminals naturally. This admitting helps the criminals to stop the crime and the world will be peaceful and we could protect ourselves from the criminals and the crimes.

Research6

The meaning of the guilty: guilty adj. having been convicted of a crime or having admitted the commission of a crime by pleading "guilty" (saying you did it). A defendant may also be found guilty by a judge after a plea of "no contest," or in Latin "nolo contendere." The term "guilty" is also sometimes applied to persons against whom a judgment has been found in a lawsuit for a civil wrong, such as negligence or some intentional act like assault or fraud, but that is a confusing misuse of the word since it should only apply to a criminal charge.
 http://legal-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/guilty

Criminals feel the guilt and shame:
1.Within three years of being released from jail, two out of every three inmates in the US wind up behind bars again -- a problem that contributes to the highest incarceration rate of any country in the world. New research suggests that the degree to which inmates' express guilt or shame may provide an indicator of how likely they are to re-offend.http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2014/02/140211103334.htm

2.
To better understand the psychological experience of interrogation subjects, a recent experiment was designed to simulate a police interrogation and resulted in 81% of the subjects designated as “innocent” waiving their right to silence while only 36% of those designated “guilty” did the same (Kassin, 2008). This is very similar to the numbers waiving their rights in actual custody situations, and comports with the general impression that “if you have nothing to hide you have no reason to insist on legal counsel”. Kassin, a leading researcher in the false confessions area, refers to this as the innocence-confession paradox–wherein the Miranda warning does not protect those most in need of protection–the innocent.
Innocent people think, since they did nothing wrong, that cooperating with the interrogators will simply expose their innocence. Instead, waiving their right to silence exposes them to the risk of false confession. Those who have a criminal past are much less likely to waive their right to silence (Sangero & Halpern, 2011).
http://www.thejuryexpert.com/2012/11/only-the-guilty-would-confess-to-crimes%E2%80%A8-understanding-the-mystery-of-false-confessions/

Many famous crimes become the dramas and the movies: 1.Criminal minds     2.Mentalist

Until now, the criminal rates are still large part in the world.:While infrequent by U.S. standards, street crimes do occur. With some variation, police statistics have remained largely stable the past few years, and while a small increase in reports of certain violent crimes has been reported, there have been few incidents involving Embassy, U.S. military, or expatriate victims. There were a handful of high-profile violent and sexual crimes
https://www.osac.gov/pages/ContentReportDetails.aspx?cid=14004

The number of violent crimes in our country is now at least double the number in the United States and 12 times the number in Japan, a study has found.
http://asiancorrespondent.com/85740/skorean-violent-crime-rate-exceeds-united-states/

The meaning of the crime:
it's a crime
spokensaid when you think something is very wrong, and someone should not do it
http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/crime 

People's prejudice:•         2. Criminals think and act differently than other people, even from a very young age.
http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/why_do_people_commit_crime.htm

Criminals also feel the guilt: 

Siegmund Freud had his own views on what makes a criminal. Freud proposed that much deviance resulted from an excessive sense of guilt as a result of an overdeveloped superego.  Persons with overdeveloped superegos feel guilty for no reason and wish to be punished in order to relieve this guilt they are feeling and committing crimes is a method of obtaining such desired punishment and relieving guilt.  In effect, a person commits the crime so that they can get punished and thus relieve guilt – the guilt comes before the crime. According to this view, crime is not the result of a criminal personality, but of a poorly integrated psyche

http://www.historylearningsite.co.uk/why_do_people_commit_crime.htm

Research Lists (After the first draft)

1.More statistics that can strengthen my argument.(Such as more public sites' articles, experts' mention, and the modified statistics.)

2.The meaning of the thesis to assure my thesis.(By dictionary or the articles.)

Self Evaluation Template.

1.What score do you think you deserve?
-I think i would deserve the 1 point.(Too least researchs, 1st draft was based on my thought.)

2.What did you do well?
-I choose the intersting topic that can show my interests. And I show my thoughts about the topic.
 Also, with my topic, I use the sure researchs such as the experts' mention, and the statistics.

3.What could you have done better?
-I thick I could have done the research part better. I use the too least researches. But, actually  It was my first draft, so I could't assure what to find to help my first draft. Also, exact understanding doesn't follow. I would have to do better in the research part.

4.Which part of the classical argument did you use the best?
-I think the articulation part was the best, because with this process, I could reestablish my thoughts, opinions, and connection between the topic and the researches.

5.Which part of the classical argument did you use the most poorly?
-I think all of my researches were the most poor. Actually it's hard to find the exact connection between the my researches and the topic. And the researches were inherent.

6.What's your strategy to make your second draft better?
-I have to add more credible research, actually my first draft was based on my opinion. I will find more adequate researchs that can be applied for my draft.